As described earlier, there are certainly things I could have done better in the long and arduous processing of deciding where Matthew was going to play soccer this year. Figured I’d close out the posts on that subject by talking about some of those things here.
Suzanne: About 2 to 3 weeks after tryouts and the decision had been made I think Suzanne finally was comfortable with the decision that we had made. I used that ‘we’ in the broadest sense; I recall a conversation where Suzanne asked me “is there anything that could make you go back to ( T ) at this point?” and I said “no” and she said “well, I guess the decision is made”. I took that conversation as acceptance of the decision, but, probably shouldn’t have.
In the end, I think all is good here but, well, like husbands and wives everywhere, I should have paid more attention to the things that mattered most to Suzanne.
Verbalizing the decision: I think I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t here….if I hadn’t said anything to our friends that we were unsure of what we were doing this year and they had found out at tryouts on Saturday when we weren’t there, well, I’m reasonably sure a few people would have been irked that we never said anything. But, on the other side of that, we did say something, and I think that there are some people who were irked that we said something…..because the idea that we were leaving and others hearing that we were leaving could have swayed others to leave (and weaken the team they were staying with).
Well, in the end, I don’t think we convinced anyone of anything. The only other ( T ) player who left was leaving for their own varied reasons….
Pigs. Mud. Wallow: Enough said on this subject earlier….
For that, there are a few things I’m happy with in the process:
Make the decision early and stay with it: We decided three weeks out from tryouts what we were doing. We did not get in any type of discussion with ( T ) coaching or ( T ) management about staying. I know two other families that left…..one had a face-to-face meeting with ( T ) management to hear compelling reasons to stay for her two children (they ended up leaving) and one didn’t make a decision until after tryouts were completed on Sunday, having multiple conversations with the new ( T ) coach that grew increasingly uglier. I’m very comfortable to have avoided both of those situations and outcomes. We know one other family who went to both teams pre-tryout training sessions and said their decision was going to be completely wide open….and then made the decision to only attend ( T) tryouts on both Saturday and Sunday….and got completely screwed over when ( T ) only offered them a spot on the lower team as tryouts ended on Sunday.
Do the research necessary to make the decision: I certainly can say that I did this!
Do what Matthew wanted to do: For all of the extraneous stuff, Matthew wanted to do what we ended up doing. To be completely fair, Suzanne is right…if I had really wanted Matthew to choose the other route, staying at ( T ), I could have presented the facts in a way to appeal to Matthew there as well.
