Thought long and hard about whether I even wanted to write this post and finally decided that I’ll always remember this Spring Break for these moments (and not the Caves and not the Beach) so I should do it. Aftereffects from this events in this post still reverberate around the house to this day…..
"That's all I can stands cause I can't stands no more!" – Popeye
The start, literally, is about ten minutes outside of Niceville on Friday. Turn off the radio in the car and emphasize to the boys that hey, I want you to behave down here. I want you to pick up after yourselves. Grandma (dispatched to the North) won’t be here for the first few days so she won’t be there to ‘cover for you’….put your towels in the dryer, etc.
Of course, by Friday night we’re already coming off the tracks. Friday night(!) I text Suzanne and say “I have officially informed boys that if they misbehave again like they have over the last 20 minutes I am driving straight home. Utterly unbelievable”. Suzanne asked what they had done for me to send that and all I have recorded is “Just normal goofiness but no stop(ping) after I asked multiple times. A lot of disrespect, especially from Matthew……probably better now and hope it gets better for rest of vacation”.
I don’t recall what exactly happened her to have me mad at them (I do recall that they were separated and the electronics were off and the first ‘grounding’ of the vacation occurred). I do recall that almost from day one it was constant reminders about picking up after themselves.
Saturday was a good day; went to the beach, I think that tired them out and I don’t recall any real issues.
Sunday, back at the homestead, was more of the same. Can’t go to the beach everyday, part of the reason we can even come to Grandma’s and Gramps’s for Spring Break is that I can accomplish some work during that time. I know they were grounded again, there’s a text to Suzanne saying that the “boys are groveling in apology….”. Hazy memory reminds me that we went to “Hunger Games” in the afternoon and then went to Alvin’s Island to get the rashguards……had to ask multiple times for boys to stop doing things, just not a great experience.
Monday was beach day 2, mostly fine, I didn’t remember any real incidents here. Grandma returns from the North and all is well.
Tuesday was more of the same…..we did go to the movies again but still recall spending more time asking for things to be picked up or asking for simple courtesies. Lots of fighting in the pool (I remember having them sit out once, and then they hop back in and keep doing the same thing!….so out for good at that point). Tuesday night is notable for Matthew getting caught helping himself to treats in the pantry and then lying about it. More grounding, more discussion of lying……
Wednesday was the last day of the vacation. Boys are almost always up before anyone else and today was no exception; they’ve been told what they could have for breakfast, they know Grandma and Gramps are out for an early appointment. I wake up and answer some emails, come out of my room and there they are, as boys are prone to do, wrestling in the bed. Tell them to stop, tell them to clean up, tell them I have to do some work and will be out on the deck doing that. Last word might have been ‘behave’….we’ll be going to the beach soon.
Grandparents come home maybe ten minutes later and ask the boys innocently enough what they had for breakfast. They lie, and to this moment I have no idea why they lied, they later stated they thought they would get in trouble for having pancakes on a stick as opposed to cereal, but, it’s a stupid lie and that’s it for me; I’ve had enough. Go to the room (that is still a mess from wrestling, nothing has changed there). Tell them to pack up their stuff; we’re going home. And 30 minutes later we headed north with full sets of tears all around.
Overreaction? - Sure, I’ll own up to that. Suzanne suggested later that maybe turning around in Crestview would have made the point; to be honest, the thought never occurred to me. Suzanne and I can certainly have to stand there and say that we don’t follow through on punishments/discipline as much as we could have, but, this time, and I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, the boys pushed too far and well, Popeye.
Perfect storm, confluence, whatever term for a combination of events you want to use, Wednesday morning was it. Not twelve hours after having a pretty decent talk about lying the boys are at it again. Constant reminders about what is appropriate and what is not, and three or four separate levels of escalating punishments. But the drive home gave me a lot of time to rehash why I reacted like I did…Too spoiled? Sure, I guess I have to take that….the boys are lucky that we have what they have and we choose to do what we do.
Collateral Damage? – Certainly…..I can’t even begin to type enough words here to describe the pain and anguish the decision left behind in Niceville after we left. No words really describe how sorry I am about that….but the events and that sadness have formed a resolve about how-things-need-to-be. More on that in the next post.
Well, what was the problem? – you know, the misbehavior, the lying, the slothfulness…to me it all clarified into one phrase. Lack of appreciation. It’s not a good thing to be on vacation at Grandma’s; it’s expected. Hey, you took us to the dollar store every other time before we left, two days before we’re going to leave we start asking not IF we can go but WHEN we can go.
Drove all the way on Wednesday up to north of Louisville. There were no electronics in the car, not even the radio for me to listen too. Boys couldn’t talk to each other. Boys couldn’t go and lie down in the back of the van. Stopped for the night and the hotel room was completely Amish as well. Only reading and sleeping.
Next: Popeye – The Days After
