I was talking about the suspension in access to the blog with Suzanne recently and Matthew asked me “Why did you do that?”. And actually saying the reasons for doing it sounded a little silly while trying to explain it to him. Of course, there isn’t much about my family that doesn’t sound silly or stupid when talking about it.
For example, the most awkward thing in my life right now is when people say ‘I’m sorry’ after hearing my father has passed away. They, for the most part, genuinely are sorry and I think try and relate their experiences with their father to mine. Which is crazy when I hear it, because those layers and layers of emotions and feelings just don’t exist.
Startling realization for me about how I look at him…..the music I have grabbed from my Mom’s library is labeled in a genre called “Mom’s Music”. Dad’s stuff is “JWH”……
But, with the blog, It has been interesting turning it off…..it has definitely let me know how many people really visit here (answer: none). And I think I’ve resolved the threshold for turning it back on. We will see by then, when I do it, if anyone comes to visit at all.
And that is fine by me.
